the red roses

Some of the pictures that I happened to click on my friends anniversary. I always love flowers. Though roses are not in my highest liking list, I do like it at times. The photos are taken from my digital camera. I feel sorry for not having SLR camera. :) Anyways, liked these pics and thought of uploading it here.

Lost heart

He stood there smiling at me,
I glared at him like a bee!

He was sweet, lovable and innocent,
I was sporty, talkative and exultant!

He loved me to the core,
Which I never got from anyone before!

But time tells a different story,
Where I was filled with gory!

We had to be keep ourselves apart,
and finally it broke, my heart!

Loads of memories!!

Feels like its a new life,
After leaving the people with whom I lived these many years,
After leaving the place where I worked for these many years,
After leaving the talks that I had with all these many years.

Feels like its a new life,
When I wake up in the morning to find that I'm not going to that place any more,
When I talk to people and say about what I'm doing now,
When I sleep in the night thinking about the next day schedule which is different now.

Feels like its a new life,
When I call my friends just to ask how are they now,
When I hear from them that they miss me,
When I tell them that I'm doing great when I'm not.

Its a new life altogether!
Thank you to the people who made me so special. Thank you for missing me when i'm not there with you all. Thank you for creating wonderful memories with me. Lastly, thank you for being with me!! Missing each one of you.. my team.. my co-workers everybody!!

This is to the people whom I call friends more than my colleagues!! :)

Life without you

Unknown thoughts bound together to form an indifferent puzzle,
To the shadow of dark from the light of rays,
You left me behind without telling me,
Never could give the respect you deserved,
Pity the time when I didn't give you the love,
You are not here now, to give what u need
I am left alone with anger, cries and pain,
Oh god, forgive me and take me to him!


P.S: Dedicated to my friend who lost someone special..

Once upon a time..

Its been ages that I haven't gone to my native.
and here the week has finally come that I have been long expecting for..
In another 2 weeks I will be there. :D

I miss those people with whom I used to enjoy my life, I miss those places which I often used to visit, I miss those wonderful times that I had with my beloved ones.
I have been missing it from so many months.

One thing that I miss which I would never get back is my childhood days!!
I love that times but I know I can never get back to those days..
But I do have those lovely memories with me which I can treasure it for my whole life.

I bet everybody feels the same like me about "Childhood Days" :)
Donald Zolana's few paintings on early Childhood:

The Episode runs!!

2000,
Ehh? What is friendship day? Enjoy and celebrate being friends? Oh, I didnt knew this!

2002,
Self prepare a friendship band, tie to all my friends! I wanna prove that I'm their friend and I like to see the band what I make for them tied on their hands. Oh yeah, I expect my friends tie it to me too! I am their friend, ain't I?

2004,
I will tie it only to my best friends! No no, she is not my close friend. I will tie only to the people who are close to me and who will in return tie it to me..

2006,
Hey, its friendship day celebration. Lets all wear yellow color dresses and enjoy freaking out. How about a movie? Cool.. Lets all have fun! Its our day to enjoy together.

2008,
Hey, Yeh, I'm coming! Yes for sure.. I have put leave for two days and I will be there on that day. We will go out and have lunch together and may be we can watch some movie if not, go to beach and enjoy! After all, its our day to enjoy. Lets rock!

2009,
Hmmm?? Oh is it? Coming sunday? I want to come but I will not be able to make time and come there. I miss you all a lot and if you all would have been here, it would have been so much fun. We could have enjoyed our day! I guess, this time I have to spend friendship day all alone here!

Friends are special, they walk with us in the journey of life. Some take other route and go away and some stay with us. Still they all are my friends. I enjoy their company. I enjoy talking to them. I like to spend time with them. When I have something to share I have with them around me. When I feel like crying, I have them near by me. When I want to laugh out loudly, they too accompany me. When I want to enjoy my day, they come with me. I have them near to me in my heart. The best thing in life are the people called as "friends" who stays with you for whatever you are.

Every year when the time of celebrating friendship day comes, I get all excited. I feel like I'm enjoying and rejoicing their company with me for so long! But sometimes, we might not get an opportunity to celebrate the time together! Like this year, I want to celebrate it with my close buddies but they are very far as of now! I will not be able to meet them this time!
But but, I promise them that next time when we meet up, lets freak out and enjoy ourselves. That day would be just ours! I don't mind whether that would be the friendship day or whatever it is. I just want to be with you all and enjoy your company.

Every stage of life, leaves foot prints on how we came so far! I have made lots of friends in this journey. I have lost few but I have kept many of them safely in my heart.
When I was small, we neighbors were all of same age of mine. We had a good bonding those days that we never knew it was called friendship. We played, fought, laughed, cried and enjoyed being small.. We even complained,abused and scolded each other. I don't have you people near to me now. You all are far off though each of you are still in contact. I miss you people so much! Without you all, my childhood days wouldn't have been fun.

The friends I made in school were not so close to me. I was very different those days and I had thought that all my school mates were my enemies. Though we enjoyed, played and studied together, we had the feeling called as 'hate' between us. Now when I dont have you people near to me, I realize it was just the time and thoughts that made us think like that. I seriously enjoyed being with you all but never thought about it those days. I miss each one of you who were with me for more than 5 to 6 years.

College life was something very serious and funny that I went through. We knew what exactly we were doing, we knew we were enjoying more than we had to. Sleeping and talking during the class hours, mass bunk to watch movies, skip those afternoon sessions only because it was boring, running affairs, helping others to finish the notes, all those canteen talks, big big bundles of xerox notes that looked untouched, studies which never seemed to be ending, every moment of it is still fresh. I will never forget it. I miss all those wonderful times and the close ones with whom I spent my beautiful college life.

And after this phase, every now and then we make new friends. We come across so many people at our work, at our living place, neighbors, blogsville, friends of friends and so on. Few stay close and few walk away. Everytime this day comes up, I start remembering all my friends from the time I was small to the present. Each and every person has made a very deep foot print in my life. I like to treasure them until I'm alive.

2nd August, 2009! The same day again. Year after year I'm still the same, but I have more and more friends who gets close to me day by day. I might not be able to wish them all on this special day. But I remember everyone. I want to thank them here for staying with me, for being with me. I will not be able to meet you all but I can remember you and cherish those memories that I had with you on this day.

Wishing everyone a Very happy friendship day! Enjoy being with friends

A SpEcIaL OnE!

She is the one because of which I'm here today...
She gave me an opportunity to grow in this world..
She was there with me whenever I wanted someone to be with me..
She comforted me when I cried, smiled with me when I laughed...


She supported me for all of my walks in this life...
She gave me moral support when things went wrong and against me...
She was there everytime when I wanted to share my feelings...
She always made yummy and wonderful recipes to make us feel happy...

She cried when I was left alone without her in some other city...
She was ready to talk for hours and hours on phone, when I was bored...
She gave me all the tips and ideas when I wanted it..
She helped me for anything to everything..


She is the one who always will be there in my heart! How much ever we fight with each other, we always are together.. and i love her so much!! Nobody can fill her space.. and I call her "mamma" ..
Mother is always a special person and her place can never be filled by anyone else..

Mamma, I know you are very sad knowing that grandma passed away! I know how much you loved her. I know what place she had in your heart. I know how much you loved her.
Coz I too am a daughter..
Just wanted to tell you that I'm always there with you.. and I always want to see you happy and smiling! :)

Grandma, I so very miss you and I'm sorry that I couldn't see you during your last days.
Also, I'm very thankful to you for giving me such a wonderful mom! You might not know how best your daughter is but I know how best my mamma is! :D

P.S: I got these pictures through mail from one of my friend. I thank her for sending it.
P.P.S: I am not down on earth now! Just that I was so happy checking these pics that I felt like conveying my message to my mamma through this blog! (If i tell her all these infront of her, she might think something is wrong with her daugther.. :P )

Give a Chance!

As she was walking on the road, it started drizzling and then heavy pour down. The lightening, the thunder storms and the empty dark road made her more tensed. She knew she had to live all alone from now onwards. Her hefty decision made her feel terrible. Rina had thought so many times to change her mind but she was afraid of staying with him anymore. Her strong and bold mind had made her stay alone now. The papers were all ready and she was supposed to sign for it in 2 days. Then it would be sent to court. In a weeks time everything would change. Her life, her marriage break down. She had no plans of re-marriage. This was all enough for her. She wanted to stay alone to be be happy alone!

But now she feared of staying alone. Will she survive all alone in this cruel world? Her thoughts went on wandering when a motor bike came and stopped right front of her. The two huge men who wore sparky sunglasses and fluffy dresses got down from the bike and came near to her.
Before they could take any chance on her, she fled from there at top speed. Thankfully the two men didn't chase her. She ran till she could reach her home. She unlocked the door and got inside. She could not switch on the lights as there was power cut. But she locked the door and stood there breathing heavily! The water drops were falling down from her body. She was completely wet. She realized that she was crying too..

After half an hour of rest, she was bit relaxed. She lit the candle and sat on the sofa. Her mind was calm by now and she started thinking about the divorce again. She felt its difficult to lead her life without him. She thought about the lady who had recently come into his life and broke everything. Arun had already told that it was his mistake and he will not repeat it again but she didn't wanted to believe him. She felt like giving another chance to him now all because she loved him but all these things had shattered her. She made up her mind at last.

Hello? Arun?
Yes. Rina, How are you? I.. I wanted to talk to you but was afraid you will not pick my call.
Hmmm.. Ok. Can you come down to my house tonight. I too wanted to talk to you.
Yeah sure. Will be there in 10 minutes.

She felt a bit confident now after talking to him. It was time for her to make things back to normal. May be everything is still possible.

There was a knock on the door by Arun. She opened the door and it was him standing outside still tensed about all the happenings. His eyes showed the hopes that he had with him still.
Come in.
What happened? You look quite tensed and your hair is all wet. You got wet in rain?
Ah ya. I was as usual late from my office today and I came back home walking when it started raining so heavily.
You could have given a call to me, I would have picked you up.
I didn't feel like calling you.
Okay. I understand. Actually, I wanted to talk about this matter. Like, why dont we talk and clear our misunderstandings and make things straight.
Misunderstandings? I am sure there is nothing called as misunderstanding here. It was your fault.
Okay as u say. Whatever you call it as. Cant you give my one more chance and I am sure I will not dare to loose you after that.
But are you sure she is out from your life completely? I don't want her to be in between us again.
Yes dear. she is out from our life. Not only she, any other girl has no space in between us. You are the only one and will always be. I will take care of you like a small baby. Please accept me.

She was smiling with tears rolling down her cheeks now. Everything was going to be alright after this. She knew it. The last chance that will make things alright again. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He understood that she has accepted him now. Both of them were in tears now. He came close and hugged her. The power came back now and the lights shone brightly making their face glow with those tears in their eyes.

Expressing...

He wrote in his diary...

Dear Indu,

I am the happiest person today coz u smiled at me. I was waiting for this very day. After 3 years of me knowing you without making you realize it, and to get the smile which is equal to thousands of those stars smiling at me when am lonely in this world without you. I know you are the angel from fairy land who came to me. I realized it long back and wanted to make sure that you yourself will smile at me one day. I dont want you to remember me. I am far from your life now.

It was just those three days of my life that was so special when you were with me.
You had lost your memory and you were stuck in that bus sitting next to me. I took great care of you and had fallen in love with you. I had taken you to the top of those mountains where that small village was. We stayed there for three days and at last you said you liked me. I was in the heaven and was overjoyed. It was that night when you were talking in your dreams that I found out you were already engaged. Engaged with the love of your life. I came to know the truth that you both were in so much love and had come for a holiday trip with him. You had lost your way in between those woods and was hit by a branch of the tree and you lost memory. You said everything in your dreams. I realized I was not the one for you. I asked one of those villagers to take you to the hospital and give the best treatment possible to regain back your memory. Everything happened as I wanted. Your memory came back and you forgot me. You went back to your love.

I realized that we were working in the same company too. I was happy seeing you daily. I forgot all my pain, your smiles gave me energy to live, your voice made me to feel that you are near to me. But I always wanted you to smile at me and you did it today. Thank you very much for that. God will always be with you coz I have already prayed him to take great care of you and he will.

Yours forever
Varun

P.S: Am completely getting involved in fiction these days! not sure, why.. but getting addicted to it.. :)

He stood there...

He stood there gazing at her when it was raining, remembering the past when he used to dance with her when it used to rain.

Now everything has changed. Being a husband and a father, he controlled his feelings towards his first crush who was his life before. She was unaware of him watching her.

my second effort on 55 fiction.. :)
you can find my first effort of 55 fiction here.. {which was written as a guest post for princess sonshu :)}

in btw, Kajal had awarded me the golden heart award few days back.. thanks a lot Kajal.. :)
also, Nikhil has given me two awards.. one is the sweet sister and another is cutest blogger award! Thanks a lot to u too, bro!
one more award from Sam, which is called free spirited award! Thanks a bunch, sam! :)
luv ya loads! :D
am displaying all the awards on the right side bar of my blog ... :)

...the reality...

Him: do you miss me?
Her: sometimes
Him: i miss you whenever I'm in trouble and when I need help.
Her: :) thanks! atleast you remember me at times.
Him: you don't remember me na?
Her: i do. how can I forget the life with you that I had for one whole year.
Him: hmmm.. I am feeling sleepy re.
Her: okay, you sleep. gn


she opened her diary with tears rolling down on her cheeks and then wrote ... "you are still the same. you didn't change a bit. i'm sorry that I have changed a lot"

The romantic "Me" and "Him" :D

The scene: Me, him and her were walking back to bus stand after the late night dance program.

Introduction: "Her" refers to my friend. "Him"- No need of explanation, I guess :P and "Me" ofcourse the stupid me.

Her boy friend had other plans and he came on his bike in between to take her away. She waved me bye and said a sweet good night followed with the word "Enjoy!"


I was left alone with him. He turned to me and gave a gentle smile. I gave a blushing smile in return.
Him: "So?"
Me: "What so?"
You were supposed to tell me something.
Was I?
Yes!
But I thought you would tell it.
You know me right? I don't have that dare to tell it straight. So you would better say.
But I am shy and am a girl. How can I say it?
Tell or else I will move fast.
okay, okay.. I...
after 10 seconds of silence
then? tell it fast....
oh god! give me the power.... I... I love you...

He turned to me and this time it was a different smile. A smile with full of happiness.
He replied back: "I love you, too!"
Then?
Then what. Nothing. We just proposed each other. Thats it. Now we are legally lovers.
So you are mine! and am yours!
Yes

He stopped and starred at me for 2 minutes. I was dumbfounded for sure. He slowly took my hand and dragged me to the corner. I could no longer speak anything as I was lacking of words.. He took me to the bench which was at the corner and made me sit there. Both of us were silent for another 10 minutes.

At last he spoke, "Arent we supposed to anything?
I was totally shocked of this sentence of his. with a fear in minds I replied: What do you mean?
Nothing. I want you to kiss me
Kiss? No ways.. sorry!
Why not? You are mine and I have the rights to ask you a kiss.
Oh yeah. You have enough dare only for this?"
Whatever you think
Okay fine. But I'm not going to give you. If you want you can give me."
Alright
My heart started beating fast as he came near by. I got so afraid that I closed my eyes. Before I could feel anything, I heard a weird sound...

It was very different in that early night. As I opened my eyes to see what it was, I came to know that the sound was the calling bell of my room. I was on my bed and somebody was ringing the bell.. X-( I had to get up and see who the idiot it was!

The owner.. it was the owner... what a idiotic and stupid guy he must be.. X-( woke me up early in the morning and spoilt my wonderful dream. I have made up my mind to murder him tonight for spoiling my most romantic dream. Please pour in your ideas on how I can murder him. Also, I am not sure where this "him" is? I searched him everywhere but I could not find him. If anyone finds him, please do tell me. I will put his photo in the wanting column which would be on the right side of my blog soon.. Thanks in advance for all your help! :D

Thus a year passed by!

April... the same month, just a year ago was the time when I came to Bangalore.. I was excited and happy when I came here. In the same time, I was scared too.. It was a new place for me then.

I came to Bangalore for few reasons.. To escape from someone, :P to find peace, to get out of the boring job that I was working before, to study further. Al together, I set my goals with many reasons in my mind and came to Bangalore!!

With a good job here, staying as Paying guest, life went on as I wanted for few weeks!
Later, I realized that things are not always as what we wish it would be. Working for long hours was one of the reason which made me feel very tired and put me under frustration. I used to wait for weekends to make myself work-free! but weekends were much worst than weekdays. No friends here in the new place. Hanging out alone? naah, am not crazy! so I used to sit back at ma room and read novels..

I somehow tried to find a way and I made friends with few people around... Got along with few groups and my colleagues. Enjoyed freaking out.. Explored new things in this new place. Experienced many things. Went for few treks, outings, was just hanging out! It was fun all the while. Life went on and I kept myself busy with one or the other things.. with so many plans and few friends here, I used to enjoy each and everything. In btw, used to miss my parents and my close ones!

Though life went on, life was not easy. My close friend who was my roomie shifted her place. It was really a bad news as she was very close to me and she had given me company all the while. It was difficult to live without her as it was very boring and lonely. I had to digest the fact that she would be leaving Bangalore. Thought of shifting the room and searched a new one.

Whenever I used to feel homesick, I would sit alone.. hear some sad music and cry to myself.
When I get time, I used to fly off to my hometown to meet my parents and enjoy there. That was not so often.

I'm adjusting and compromising for each and everything here. Coz one day I want to go back to my place with a happy face! I have to to achieve what I had thought and that is possible only here. I have to make time for studies, work and enjoyment. :)

Bangalore has given me life, enjoyment, friends, job... the list goes on. But it has taken away from me.. my happiest life that was in Manipal(my hometown).. It has made me live far from my loved ones! I miss everything out there.. especially my parents and my sweet home.
Not sure whether I have to thank for what I have or be sad for what I don't have with me..!


Whatever it is...
a year has passed..!
memories will remain for sure....!!!

In the tunnel all alone...!

In the pitch dark night standing alone,

Waiting for someone with full of moan!!

Knowing its not safe to go out at night,

But i have come out now, my mistake alright!!

Waiting, still waiting for the guy to come,

May be with a rose in his hand, eyes full of love!!

But no! time is passing but no one is coming,

I am stuck.. what shall i do other than thinking?

Well, i thought may be i can go alone..

Without fear without anyone's help in a silent tone!!

With dare i am going, no wonder i am shivering,

My heart is thumping.. and I'm helpless doing nothing!!

I can see so many people enjoying,

Am i jealous? no, i am just left out, nudging!!

My mistake i admit. i am seeing the result of it..

There must be some solution for all this bull shit!!

Damn..!!! still waiting and no solution found.

Its hard for me to go alone coz am downed!!

Searching in the crowd for the right person

Who will not cheat me like the b4 one!!

Mr.Right, the one who is going to care for me,

The one who will truly believe and love me!!

I want that Mr.Right to be with me forever and forever..

Where is he..? will u take long time to reach me, oh my Trevor!

Is he also in search of me..?

How to tel him that i am waiting for him in the black sea!!

I need him now.. how can i yell out to him?

And say that i am here all alone waiting only for him!

I can see complete darkness here..

I know this is some kind of tunnel leading out somewhere or the other

But i will wait. until i have my life in my hand,

And i hope he will reach to me even if he is in Kazakhstan!

Hoping, waiting, longing to see him.

With a smile on my face and prim!!

Miss Perfect as Valentine!

Guyz, Have you met her? The Miss Perfect, I mean. From 'homely' to 'professional'. And from being 'simple' to 'sexy' the definition of Miss Perfect has changed for many men. They want their women beautiful, intelligent and in control.

What men looks first in girls. Great looks and a heart of gold? That was the answer I found in search engines. Yeah, great looks and a golden heart is fine. The one with a good heart can always be trusted. In today's troubled time it is really difficult to find this kind of girl. If you did find, there you go! Catch hold of her, don't leave her.. ;)

Men usually prefer women who makes him smile during his bad times. When men return from their works, they would be happy to find someone with excited eyes, naughty smile. Ahh! Won't then the life be happy always if it is so!

Yeah, some men are not the ones who think about all these. They hang the board "Love me at your own risk" and there they go loosing their loved ones! Though they understand it later after experiencing the loneliness without the loved girl!

Also, men admit that they seek a woman who is attractive to them. Most men are not these kinds but some are! They don't want a model but they do take pride in having a girlfriend who looks beautiful. So it means that men fall for a woman because he is pleased by her looks.

The women could be independent but she needs to be the kinds who your family also likes. They need someone who they can take home and introduce to the family.

All it takes is - Love.. what men needs is Miss Perfect i.e Homely, Professional, Lover, Charming, Trusty, Independent, and the list goes on.

Now as the Valentine's day is around the weekend, isn't it the perfect time for you guys to find your Miss Perfect? Who knows she could be the girl next door! Stay alert! :D

P.S : This is just a random post! I have only expressed my views. There are no hard feelings or anything as such towards men or women.

When heart sinks!

From Neha to Aadil..

Dear,

You are Always in My Mind! My every waking thought is of you. I am lost without you near me. You and I were so close but I dont know what happened.
Look, I know I have done you wrong but you hurt me too, with or without knowing you have ditched me.
I cant believe you had let me down.
I told you everything I told you things I haven't told anyone else and what did you do?
You screwed me into the ground.
You were my best friend, my hope, my dream and my love.
when you were alone, I was there near you giving hopes. When your friends cheated you, I was there near you to control your anger.
You knew I loved you but still you did this.
I guess that is what happens when you fall in love with the wrong one.
My friends would tell me all the time not to believe you, but that is easier to say than do. I thought there's no one in this world who fits me as well as you do!
I guess since I have taken a deep fall that I cant say good-bye to you easily.
I am sorry for all that happened between you and me.
The sweet words you told me still echo, the hopes that you gave me are still alive. I still feel the soft touch. Isn't it possible for you to come back to me.. Oh sorry, I know its not possible.
I have come to the conclusion that I hate you and I do but at the same time I love you too.
If that makes any sense, you cant be apart of my life anymore because this is just not a forgive and forget kind of thing. It is my life, where I included you in it but you went out of it so soon.
I fell for you and got a deep cut in my heart.
But you know what they say:
"you can't lose something you never really had"

******* Neha *********